Take my Hand
by 2460cumberbatched
Summary: During an argument between Arthur and Merlin, Camelot is attacked. Eventual slash. Vague Merlin/Morgana but mostly Merlin/Arthur. Set at some point in the series that doesn't exactly exist, Morgana is good(ish), but Percival, Gwaine etc. are all regular characters. Some hinted Gwaine/Lancelot, but it can be taken as friendship. Magic reveal later. May turn out a little angst-y.
1. Chapter 1

Take my Hand

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters (although what I'd give to own Gwaine...). All of Merlin belongs to the BBC. I am not making any profit out of this._**

* * *

"Merlin!" Arthur's sharp, slightly bored tone cut through the walls separating the two boys. Merlin was in Morgana's room, having been slightly suspicious of her early departure from dinner. He groaned inwardly, could Arthur not be alone for more than five minutes? It wasn't as if Merlin didn't enjoy the time they spent together, he just needed some time to get his brain around some confusion he'd been having over Morgana. The king's ward had always been kind to him. Of course she was kind to everyone, but was she showing any special interest in Merlin? A sigh swept through him as he realised that he was being wildly optimistic. Morgana saw him as a friend, which was something that not many of his class could say. He was friends with the king's ward, shouldn't that be enough?

"MERLIN". Arthur was getting agitated. Patience wasn't his best skill, although he knew he must learn to be patient before he became king. He didn't need Merlin's help particularly, although his chainmail could have done with a polish. He enjoyed his time with Merlin. The boy was awful- lazy, sarcastic and simply rude, but they had become friends through their careless bravery, and the odd instinct they had to keep each other alive. Arthur considered getting off his chair to look for Merlin, but the boy was his servant, not the other way round. He should've been cleaning Arthur's room from twenty minutes ago, any other manservant would have been, for fear of getting fired, but not Merlin. Merlin was more of the laidback type of servant. The type who saw a messy room and immediately thought '_It'll be good for my prince to do a bit of tidying, it's not as if I'm paid to clean up after him or anything_'. And Arthur loved that. He loved the cheeky grin when Merlin had just insulted the king's son, but knew he'd get away with it. Wouldn't it be boring to have a good, hardworking servant…

After a few more shouts from the prince, and a whole lot more groans from Merlin, Merlin decided to see what he was needed for desperately enough for Arthur to shout across the palace, but not quite enough for him to actually get up.

"Where the hell have you been, you lazy little clot?!" Merlin emerged round the door to be greeted with Arthur's echoing insults. "I've been waiting for years!"

"Err, well, you know how Gaius likes me working, and you like me working, and I have to work a lot, and I fit in time around that, you know, like spare time, and well I though Gwen might, you kn-" a sharp glare from Arthur brought Merlin away from his rambles. Arthur would have already guessed anyway, he wasn't stupid. "Morgana's room." Merlin didn't know why he was so embarrassed, but he felt his face flush.

"I told you, it has to stop. This ob_sess_ion with Morgana! I don't want to break your little heart, but please. She would never go for _you." _Merlin's face cracked. The ever-present grin snapped into a look of worry, concern. He had always admired Arthur, but the prince often snapped without thinking how much he could hurt another.

"I'll see if the stables need cleaning." Merlin's voice was barely a whisper, and his attempt to sound normal had failed, especially as the crack in his voice appeared. Quickly he turned and disappeared back through the door.

Every time. EVERY time. He didn't mean to insult Merlin, but somehow the more Arthur liked the boy, the worse his behaviour became, until he was out rightly rude and more like his old self. Frozen into a position, with his hands tugging at the tufts of hair he had created by running his hands through it, he swore. What was wrong with him? He could never win a fight in this condition, and it had to be put right. Sweeping out of his room before he could change his mind, Arthur set out to find Merlin, the only one who could restore Arthur's happiness.

Merlin was dawdling along, angry at Arthur, and perfectly certain that the stables had been cleaned the day before. He knew he had no chance with Morgana, but did Arthur have to crash through every little bit of hope? Arthur would never have had any trouble getting girls, he would have had the pick of whoever he wanted, but to rub it in Merlin's face…

"Merlin!" Arthur's tone was as sharp as ever. He had meant for it to come out as apologetic and kind, but his usual bark had made an appearance as usual.


	2. Chapter 2

As he turned, the hurt and anger in Merlin's hypnotising, pale blue eyes was clear. Arthur's best and only friend was near to crying, and it was his fault. Without realising it, he had stepped forward and reached to Merlin's face. His hand was hovering over his manservant's sharp, gorgeous cheekbones and all he wanted to do was press his lips to them.

Merlin stepped back, unable to process what had happened. He couldn't have mistaken the lust in Arthur's eyes for anything, it was clearly there, plain for anyone to see. But he must be wrong, this was the Prince of Camelot, King Uther's son, and the man who had been yelling at him just a few minutes beforehand. Was Arthur jealous? If Merlin hadn't been so bewildered he might have smiled at the thought. Arthur Pendragon, jealous because _he _had fallen for the Lady Morgana, and not for Arthur. But that was just stupid. Naïve, wildly optimistic and just crazy. Only a day ago Arthur had been bellowing about his feelings for Guinevere. This was stupid. A stupid, _stupid _thought. Stupid. Merlin closed his eyes and tried to will the bravery to speak to come out from his stomach, where it had been nestling for a good deal of minutes. But just as he opened his mouth, Arthur spoke.

"Merlin." This time his voice was soft, tendered by the welling of tears in his eyes. Arthur could not remember a time he had cried in front of anyone, but these tears would not be controlled. "Merlin, I- I'm sorry. For that, for what I said, for what I did. For everything. I jus- I'm sorry." The need to break the silence they had stood in had overwhelmed Arthur. He had been momentarily consumed by Merlin's beauty, but he could not stand the boy's discomfort any longer. He turned and crept back into his chambers. A son of King Uther's, and he was creeping about his own castle. Creeping was not his style, but his usual stride had been knocked by the intense feeling he had for Merlin. Curling up into his plush sheets, Arthur cried. He cried, he sobbed, he howled; the sounds muffled by his teeth gripping the freshly laundered pillow. Through all the pain he had suffered through his time as a knight of Camelot, nothing could compare to this. Not one thing.

Merlin still stood in the corridor, his weight absent-mindedly all on one foot. His bad foot, to be precise. The foot he had injured when he ran from a gwyllgi, a huge black doglike creature. A creature Arthur had incidentally saved him from. The pain was what had brought him out of his trance. What had he done? He should have spoken, laughed it off. Arthur would now think that Merlin thought that Arthur wanted something more than a friendship, but did they even have that now? The thought of their friendship being ruined by something so trivial as a touch was unbearable. And not even a touch, a near touch if anything! Merlin's thoughts were jumbling. He needed to get out, he needed to run, to scream. As he stumbled his way out through the walls of Camelot, the tears began to fall. Silently, and enough to fill an ocean, they fell.

Four hours later, Merlin collapsed onto his cheap bed and slept. And the tears were still falling.

* * *

_**I know it's a short chapter, but i will try to update regularly! Thank you for reading, and follow me on Tumblr if you want! 2460cumberbatched. **_


	3. Chapter 3

As both boys slept, Sir Erec of Camelot rode through the overgrown bushes as his fastest pace. The forests surrounding Camelot were thick with greenery, but Sir Erec had to think of speed, and not of safety. A solid army were making their way to Camelot, an army bigger, stronger and fiercer than Camelot's own.

The warning bells shot through Arthur's sleepless slumber. His head pounding, he acted on instinct. As his mouth opened to shout Merlin's name, he realised. What had he done? He'd scared away his only friend, and because of his stupidity, he now had nobody. Every morning Merlin was in his chambers with a slightly lopsided grin and an insulting comment peeking through his pearly teeth. But not today. Arthur dressed, hurriedly and alone. He burst through the King's Throne Room, immediately seeing Merlin standing next to Gaius looking almost as tired as himself.

Arthur's late and rather noisy entrance had woken Merlin up a little more. He was confused, but not angry with Arthur at all, and willing to forget everything that had happened. Hardly anything _had_ happened in fact, so it wouldn't be hard. Merlin grinned at Arthur, a rather awkward, guilty grin, but a grin all the same. But Arthur's eyes were depressed as they found Merlin's, and both looked away. A fresh wave of even greater confusion washed over Merlin, but he could not stay in his thoughts forever, as something awful yet intriguing was being announced.

"I hereby regret to announce that we are at war with Friodar. This morning will be the time that we make this known to all the people of Camelot." A hushed silence fell as the king's broadcaster stepped back.

Friodar were a kingdom that Camelot had been at peace with since before his grandfather's reign, and Arthur could not see a reason for King Sacalot of Friodar to declare war after so many years of amity. Looking around, he could see his father was feeling the same way. What must he have felt like when he heard? To know that an ally, a _friend_ had turned, and without warning. The awaiting danger they were in made Arthur take action. His father would be making the initial choices, but it was down to him to organise the army. This was not an instance to think of Merlin, but the boy always seemed to creep into Arthur's mind at the least appropriate moments. Why had he smiled? Was he unaware of what Arthur's intentions had been? Was he just pretending, having found a weakness in Arthur and attempting to use it to its best ability? Arthur blinked slowly, determined to show no flaws at all. Merlin was just after power, like all the people he was attracted to. He was no better than them.

"What will you have the army do, Sire?" Arthur was proud of how strong his voice sounded, almost as if he was not scared at all. But he was, he was terrified. He had been taught that fear would lose you a battle from a young age, but every battle he went to frightened him. Having Merlin at his side had calmed his nerves, but the boy, his _servant _had proved to be a waste of the prince's time. From now on he would treat Merlin as he had any other servant, with little respect or kindness. Sacking him would just show up Arthur's weak spots, something he was resolute not to do.


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin's mind was whirling. A war would distress all the people of Camelot, and destroy many of their homes and _lives_. Camelot had always been a peaceful kingdom despite their rather frequent small battles, and Uther was known as a king who avoided mass conflict, apart from with magic. Suddenly, as if he had been washed over with icy water, Merlin decided on a plan of action. He hadn't even been aware he was attempting to think one up, but he was determined now. He would protect the people of Camelot through this, he would stick by Gaius, Morgana and Gwen, and if Arthur wanted him to, he would stick by Arthur. That's what they'd always done, stick together, and it had always worked.

Arthur sat in his room, just a few hours after his departure from the war meeting. _War_. He would not let his people get worried, it was his job to protect them, and not only that, he wanted to protect them.

"Hey you, I need my boots cleaned and my armour polished. There's a bloody war on, and if you're not going to fight you might as well make yourself useful." This came too easily for Arthur. Had he really been like this before? "Well? What are you waiting for? Come on."

Merlin's face was a living example of horror, mixed with disappointment and misery. For a moment Arthur wanted to reach out, banish Merlin's sorrow, and kiss his lips into a smile. But he didn't, and Merlin's barely spoken _yes, Sire _penetrated deeply into Arthur's heart. Much, much too deeply. And at that point, Arthur broke. His silent screams muffled by the blood trickling from his bottom lip where his teeth had been buried. Arthur looked up, ready to apologise over and over again to rid himself of this pain and to have a true friendship with someone that he genuinely liked. But Merlin was gone, and with him Arthur's boots and armour. And this hardened Arthur's heart. For a reason unknown to him, he was now more than ever determined to conquer this _thing. _He was Prince Arthur, known for his strength, and whatever Merlin had attempted to enchant him with would be overcome. And without the stupid boy by his side, he would rise to become the best king Camelot had ever known.

Whatever he was doing, Merlin was not going to think of Arth- of the Prince. He was a stuck up royal, just like all the others. Obsessed with titles and ranks, and would never be seen talking to somebody lower in class than themselves, except to order said person around. Had he been pretending all this time? He must have been. Arthur was not his _friend; _he was his master, his employer. They couldn't have been friends even if they had wanted to, and Arthur clearly didn't. So putting behind kind word Arthur had spoken to him, every lingering look, every mischievous grin, he made his way back to Gaius' chambers. He was settling for friends; he had never dreamt they would ever have anything more, but friends was okay, it was good. He thought Arthur had been one of the best friends he had ever had, but this was obviously not the case. Friends didn't treat each other in that way, and they would just have to return to what their relationship should have been. And that was good, it was okay.


	5. Chapter 5

Friodar's army were marching towards Camelot at a pace that could only be matched by a dragon, it seemed. Sir Oldof had been on lookout duty, but was now urging his horse faster and faster towards the army that would battle King Sacalot's warriors. The Knights of Camelot were skilled, strong fighters, but they were few in number, and were inferior in size to their enemy by almost 3:1. Arthur would have to be warned, and despite being several thousand yards in front of the opponent, Sir Oldof feared for his life. From simply seeing these men in their bulk, he could tell that there was something paranormal about them. No army walked in that way, at that speed, with that level of organisation. So as cowardly as it may have been, he willed his horse to move faster and faster, away from the enemy.

* * *

"Sir Oldof has not returned, Sire." The statement was unusual, as Oldof was a man Arthur had trained himself, and he was a skilled and brave warrior.

"Send out a lookout boy, we cannot waste another knight. I fear Sacalot's army are more fearsome than when we last faced them in my father's reign."

"Sire."

A worrying doubt had crept into Arthur's mind. He knew that Sir Oldof would not be defeated by any small crowd, and he had been ordered to travel only to the outskirts of Camelot so that the enemy's movements could be sighted in the distance. No bandits were circling Camelot's forest, for they did not want to be involved in this battle. So where was Oldof? If he had stayed where he should've done, then Sacalot could not have reached him, but who else could it be?

"Ready the knights, I fear a premature attack."

"Yes Sire."

* * *

Merlin was thinking, yet again. He could not let Arthur fight these men who, if reports were correct, had marched over 100 000 yards in a day. But Arthur wouldn't listen to him, not that he ever did, but there would be even less of a chance now. Less than nothing at all. Nevertheless, Merlin would try. Even without his destiny he would have tried. And regardless of their broken friendship, it was his duty, and he was going to try.

"Sire, Gaius believes these creatures to be magical. And with that in mind, I think that you should not fight them."

"What makes you think that I care one bit about your opinion? And if Gaius is right, then we can defeat the evil that lies among us. Tell him we will be fighting." Arthur's tone was straight, and his words were the words of a conversation between a servant and a noble, not between friends.

"Yes, Sire." But as Merlin was leaving, he stuttered: "I'd like to come with you, Sire. I understand that only men of noble blood can protect Camelot, but I'd like to be there." The words _with you, for you _had died on Merlin's lips.

And in spite of everything, Arthur nodded, not trusting himself to speak. If he were to die, which was incredibly likely, he wanted Merlin to be there. Goddammit, he wanted to die in Merlin's arms, and for Merlin's lips to be the last thing he felt. He wanted the words _I love you, Merlin_ to be the last words to ever leave his mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

**Short chapter, but I'm still working on the next one. We don't really know that much about Percival and Elyan, but from how Elyan saved Percival in The Darkest Hour I should think that they are good friends. This is not supposed to hint at anything more.**

* * *

Arthur was pacing near the walls of Camelot, past the brave men who had volunteered to make this journey with him, none expecting to return. Not just his knights, but many of them his friends too. Gwaine, Percival, Lancelot and Elyan. Leon had wanted to come, had attempted to force Gaius to let him, but he was too weak; any man could have seen it. As Arthur opened his mouth to speak, he noticed a skinny figure making its way towards him, and at a glance Arthur knew it was Merlin. He had desperately wanted Merlin with him, but as the boy had not appeared in the morning, it was assumed by all the knights that he'd had second thoughts.

Regardless of the situation they were in, it was obvious that the knights were happy to see him. As Lancelot rushed forward, disregarding his status and orders, Gwaine felt confusion wash over him. He watched Arthur's face as Merlin wrapped his arms around Lancelot, and behind the mask of disapproval, it was obvious that Arthur was jealous. The knights had noticed a change in Arthur and Merlin's relationship, but none had commented, for fear of touching something sensitive.

"Hey Princess, let's get us started while we've still got inconsiderate bravery and carelessness washing over our heads." Gwaine was attempting to break the silence as the knights watched Merlin, because having an emotional breakdown would not help their advances.

"Alright men, I think we all know what we're doing. Gwaine and Lancelot, head towards the PrimousMountains and ride back as soon as you catch sight of Sacalot's army. The rest of us will spread out over Camelot's entrances, got it?" The knights all nodded, but Merlin just watched each man's expression as Arthur gave them orders. They were all so strong, so brave. He watched Gwaine gasp '_Alone at last!' _and wink suggestively at Lancelot; tossing his hair with a crooked grin, teasing everybody's lips into a slight smile. He watched Lancelot roll his eyes, smiling at Gwaine's clowning around, but still concerned for every man's safety. He watched Percival thinking over the plan, considering how to follow Arthur's orders and yet still be able to protect Elyan. And he watched Elyan, desperate to become a brave knight, to show people how strong he was, but little did he know that he was one of the strongest men of the land.

Most of all though, Merlin watched Arthur. His master, but also his best friend, despite their earlier conflicts. They hadn't spoken since Merlin had stated that he would be joining the knights in battle, but Merlin was determined to tell Arthur everything he had felt before it was too late, before Merlin lay dying on the ground. And maybe, just maybe, he would die in Arthur's arms, the enemy defeated, and Arthur alive. And in that moment, Merlin would be content to die.


	7. Chapter 7

**Another rather mini chapter here, but I'm working on a rather complicated 8th chapter. Reviews welcome and very helpful!**

* * *

The knights were on the move, outside the safety of Camelot. Arthur had to keep strong for the benefit of morale; a broken prince would do nothing for the knights' enthusiasm and faith. Inside though, he _was_ broken. He could not bear to order his knights, his _friends,_ into a battle they would surely lose. Commanding men into a suicidal fight was not the way of a brave leader; his father had taught him that. But what was he to do? Without anybody to hold off the attack, Camelot would be taken. And without a knowledgeable and able ruler, the kingdom Arthur had grown up in, the kingdom he had been taught to rule over would fall. And that is something that he would not let happen. There had to be another way, he could not force his men into a battle that they would lose their lives for.

"Wait." Arthur's voice was hesitant, but he knew what he must say. "My men, I cannot compel you to give up your lives. With the knowledge that you will not return from this battle, I give you permission to go back to Camelot. I will not think any less of you as a man, and I do not want any of you to lose your lives. If any man wishes to, he must leave now, and inform the king that I am fighting to my best ability with everyone willing."

There was silence. Forty or so men stood motionless, their eyes on their prince. And just as Arthur was about to move on, a man spoke up.

"Arthur, you are not only my prince, but my friend. I have always known that I will die sooner rather than later in my life, and I cannot think of anybody I'd rather die with or for. I will fight until my last breath to save Camelot." Percival's voice was steady, but it cracked as he added: "And anyway, who wants to grow old?" And then the knights were soundless, some biting their lips to stop themselves shedding a tear, but all nodding in agreement. These men were willing to die for their kingdom and their prince, and it was Percival's words that gave Arthur the strength to lead his men into battle.

Arthur had stationed the men around Camelot's walls, each group with a more experienced knight among them. And now Merlin was left at the main gate into Camelot, with just his prince and two other knights to fight. This was one of the only points in his life that Merlin was willing to reveal his magic, for he believed that although he would die for it, he could save Arthur's life, and that was worth dying for one hundred times over. Lost in his thoughts, Merlin felt incapable of protecting Arthur. With this in mind, he stopped thinking, but simply knew he would do anything he could to save his prince. If possible, he would try to save the other knights, but Arthur was his priority, he had always been.


	8. Chapter 8

**Umm, yeah. So this chapter is basically just drabbles, but there will be a long, exciting one soon, I promise. I just need to work out how it's going to end. Reviews welcome!**

* * *

"Merlin, I want you to know something before I die. Despite the difference in our status, I regard you as a friend. A good friend." Arthur looked up from where his gaze was fixed to the ground. He caught Merlin's eye as he whispered: "My best friend." Merlin bit his lip as he turned away from Arthur. It seemed as if his friend had not forgiven him for the harsh words that had been spoken previously.

"Merlin? Merlin please, say something. I could die happy today knowing that you have forgiven me." There was a moment of complete silence before Merlin spoke, but to Arthur it felt like eternity. This was all new to the Prince of Camelot; he had never cared what anyone thought of him this much. Perhaps it was the loom of a fatal battle hanging over him, or the feeling of being a leader in such a war. Or perhaps it was just Merlin, the way he used to grin carelessly, with such a twinkle in his eye. And the way his endless chatter had kept Arthur smiling through the hardest times of his life. The way the boy was always there during Arthur's triumphs and during his sorrow, and even when Arthur had done nothing but lie in bed for the morning. Merlin had always been there. But maybe Arthur cared so much because of the absent grins and twinkles. The strange, soundless noise that hung around them when they were together. And the feeling that Arthur had had of being alone in the mornings.

"I do forgive you, Sire."

"No, Merlin. Stop it; stop being what you're being!" At Merlin's look of perplex, Arthur attempted to explain. "You were never like this; you never treated me like a noble, like a _prince_. And I complained, _YES_, I know I complained, but I have learned to love it. Everybody else treated me like their prince, and they respected me. But you, you treated me like a friend. And that means so much more." Arthur drew breath and peered through the tears which had hazed his vision. As one drop threatened to roll over his eyelashes, he realised that Merlin was the only one who could make him like this; he was the only one with control over Arthur's emotions. But when Arthur went to wipe his tears away, his hand was gently moved away and replaced with the long, spindly fingers of his servant boy.

With his hand still resting on Arthur's cheek, he stuttered: "I do forgive you, Arthur. I- I do."


	9. Chapter 9

_**I'm so sorry for the delay, I will try to update quickly next time, but it will have to be after my exams, sorry!**_

* * *

Merlin's lips were trembling; he had never touched his prince in this way. They'd laid hands on each other all the time; clutching the other's hands in the darkness, an arm slung around the neck or occasionally waist to help the other along, but never anything so sensitive, so caring. Arthur's eyes were tranquility itself, and Merlin could feel himself relaxing into his master's gaze. Slowly, almost as not to startle either of them, the servant boy blinked and moved his hand away.

It had felt like they'd been locked in their own world for hours, but it cannot have been long, for the knights at their station had just returned from consulting with the other groups. The man's awkward cough brought Arthur back to reality, and reality was a shock. He may lose Merlin in the battle to come, and after sharing such a moment, that was something that Arthur could not bear. The Prince of Camelot would give up his kingdom in an instant for Merlin's smile.

"Err, yes Accolon?" Arthur would brush everything aside to talk to Merlin in private, but this knight should be bringing important information.

"I apologise for interrupting, my Lord, but Sacalot's army have not been sighted since before the sunrise. Our lookouts bring no news. Are we to make camp out here?"

"Oh. Umm, yes. Yes we'll do that. Just for tonight, and if there are no sightings all night we'll return to Camelot. Yes. We'll do that. Err, thank you, Accolon. Sir Accolon." The Prince of Camelot was stuttering, tripping over his words like a young girl in love.

"Sire." Accolon departed with a sharp nod.

Merlin narrowed his brows. He did not feel relief from the news, but suspicion. How had an army of almost 1000 disappeared from view? He highly doubted that they had retreated, for the note declaring war had been insistent and demanding. The words had been carved onto the back of a horse boy, who must have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was still alive when Merlin and Giaus treated him, but had died soon after. The look of fear and agony in the boy's eyes was one Merlin would never forget, one he hoped he would never see again. Especially not in the eyes of someone he knew, someone he loved.

Arthur was shouting as Merlin looked up at him, at the knights who were incredibly skilled with a sword, but seemingly incompetent at erecting a tent. The servant boy looked up and laughed, the sight was one for a jester to perform. Arthur's hand was running through his hair and his mouth was open, yelling orders and insults at the two men in front of him. Accolon was draped in a huge piece of cloth which served as the cover of the tent, while the other knight held about seven poles in his hand and was scrutinising them for an answer.

At the sound of Merlin's giggle, and it was a giggle, Arthur glanced over. His manservant had his head in his hands and his shoulders were rising as he laughed, all sounds having deserted him long ago. Arthur frowned, but then looked at the two knights and chuckled. He could imagine that this was rather a funny sight to see, and whenever Merlin was happy, he was. Giving a rather over the top frown, Arthur clocked Merlin on the back of the head and released another throaty chuckle.

"Alright you, let's see you do any better, you incompetent _clotpole_!"

"Was that really necessary, _my Prince_?! And it's nice to see you widening your vocabulary. Wouldn't do to have a complete prat for a king one day."

"Alright you, up you come."

Arthur snaked his arms around Merlin's waist and hauled him over the Prince's shoulder.

"Hey! Put me down! Where are you taking me?!"

"To teach you a lesson."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Sorry for the wait again! I have more exams soon... Hope you like it!**_

* * *

Merlin shrieked as his left calf was seized by Arthur's calloused hands.

"Let's see how you like being laughed at then, shall we?" Arthur taunted as he slowly turned Merlin upside down and smirked at him. "I really think you should remember my title when addressing me like an inferior, _Merlin_. Such behaviour needs a…" Arthur paused, with feigned thoughtfulness plastered on his face. "…_suitable_ punishment."

"Arthur… Arthur, don't. ARTHUR!" Merlin squealed as he saw the glint of water that Arthur, holding Merlin by the calves, was approaching.

"Oh, don't be such a girl, Merlin. And I had no idea your voice could get so high; seems you do have talents after all."

"Oh, you'd be surprised." Merlin managed to address his prince with an admirable amount of confidence, considering Arthur was now knee deep in water and clutching Merlin's hips, with the latter's hair just brushing the water. A slightly mischievous grin from Arthur warned Merlin of his next issue.

With his forehead completely immersed in icy water, Merlin frowned. A look Arthur liked to call the 'grumpy pout', although only in his head. Merlin's pout was, the Prince now realised, strangely attractive, even upside down. Arthur blinked harshly, and with an attempt, albeit pathetic, to look innocent, he chuckled: "Cold?"

"Oh, only a little. But then again, I'm not used to lovely warmed baths and fluffy blankets, so I guess I'll survive." With an overly sarcastic laugh, Arthur lowered Merlin a little more, so his dark eyebrows joined his head in the freezing water Arthur could feel on his legs and feet.

And with a rather pleasant statement of: "_Oi! I'm getting a bloody headache here, you prat!" _Merlin hit out at Arthur's knees, and was rewarded with a body spasm of Arthur's, which sent both boys plunging into the icy lake.

"For the love of God, that's bloody freezing! You're going to pay for that you… You… AGH!" Merlin had leapt out of the lake, grabbed Arthur, and pinned him down onto the sandy grass below. He was laughing, but Arthur's face was that of a slightly startled, yet very angry, wild beast.

"You're more stupid than I thought, Merlin. Attacking a knight of Camelot is something many have attempted, but few have come out of alive. Very few. In fact, I'd say your chances of surviving this so called attack are extremely slim."

"So I've heard, but yet here I am with you pinned underneath me. Perhaps I am one of the first to have _your royal highness_ at my mercy." And upon hearing the words out of Merlin's mouth, Arthur heaved upwards with all his strength and in that one movement he had switched their positions.

"Or perhaps not. No good comes of being cocky, Merlin."

"That, in itself is true _my lord_. But maybe you should learn to take your own advice."

Arthur pursed his lips, and then relaxed a little. A chuckle of laughter made its way out of his mouth, and he sat up, motioning for his manservant to do the same. Legs open, knees up in the crooks of his elbows and hands clasped together, he looked over at Merlin, who was sitting with his legs crossed, shivering from the chill of the wind on his damp skin. Cursing his mind and heart for harbouring so many emotions, he shrugged off his warm jacket and tossed it at the boy beside him, who looked up in surprise.

"I've missed this, Merlin." And before Merlin had the chance to ask what, Arthur explained. "I've missed laughing and joking with you, teasing you. I know that it was only a short amount of time that we were not ourselves, and I also know that everything was entirely my fault, but I did miss it; I- I missed you."

Merlin glanced up at his prince, who was gazing out at the lake. Thoughts were rushing around his mind, confusing him completely, but he could only focus on one. _Arthur had missed him. __**Arthur **__had missed __**him. **_

He closed his eyes. "Arthur. _Arthur_, I missed you too, so much. I didn't understand, and I'm sorry. And I don't like Morgana, if you were wondering. I did, I mean, a little. I think everyone does. All the knights that is, but I don't anymore. Not even a little. Well I do still think she's beautiful, I doubt that'll ever change, I mean, unless she ever goes ugly. Which is highly unlikely, but still."

Arthur smiled and then frowned slightly, his fondness for Merlin's babbles confusing him. He chuckled, a little dryly.

"Thank you for that. But Merlin, tell me something. When you joined us today, did you think you would survive? Because you won't, not out here in the battlefield. You shouldn't be here, Merlin, but I'm so glad you are." After a long pause and a deep breath, Arthur continued. "I should tell you something, Merlin. Something I should have said so long ago, but something I should never say. I know you will never talk to me again, but I could not bear to die without you knowing. But after I tell you, will you promise me one thing? Just promise me that you'll survive. Promise me that you'll live until you're an old man, having had a wonderful life with beautiful children. Promise to leave me after I speak, and not return to this bloodshed. Because, Merlin, my world would die if you did. There would be nothing left in my life that I cared about, nothing left that I loved. Your safety is all I care about now, because…" Arthur's jaw was trembling, and tears were soaking his cheeks. He had never opened up this much to anyone. "Because, Merlin, I love you. And I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I can't help it, but I do. I do love you. Oh God, I don't expect you to talk to me, but please, just say you forgive me for feeling so sinfully. Damn everything Merlin, I love you."


	11. Chapter 11

_**Oh gosh I'm so, so sorry. I've been trying to update but I've been so busy, and when i wasn't busy, i had tremendous writer's block. I'm sorry this is such a short chapter, but more to come, i promise! (I've just finished my exams). Hope you enjoy!**_

* * *

"You like Merlin, don't you?" Gwaine chuckled, and winked at Lancelot with one of his famous hair tosses. "Hey, don't worry, I won't tell. My lips are sealed." Gwaine chuckled again. "He's pretty handsome, you know. And I've seen him naked; he's pretty good looking down there too." In reply to Lancelot's deathly stare, Gwaine continued: "Oh come on, I've seen you looking. Don't tell me you've never thought about him. In bed… With yo- OWW." Gwaine huffed a little, but carried on tormenting his fellow knight. "Well I'm just saying, if you want to get in there, I'd advise doing it before his royal arsehead. He's pretty besotted with old Merlin too, and I'd say he's the only one who could give you any kind of contest in the looks department."

"It is a sin for any man to think of another like that, _Sir_ Gwaine, and knights do not sin." Lancelot gave his death stare again, but Gwaine's thoughts on that topic were shown through his eyebrows and a strange snort which came out of his perfectly shaped nostrils.

"If just _thinking_ about it's a sin, I'm going straight to hell."

"Gwaine! You -you never cease to amaze me with your incredible… You're such a… Urgh!"

"Well I'm sure you, Arthur and Merlin will be joining me there soon, my love. Hah, what fun we could have!"

Lancelot smiled, but then frowned. "I never knew you liked… you know… men."

"Spend too much time around hot, naked ones I guess."

Both men looked up and grinned awkwardly at each other. Lancelot spoke first: "What you said just then, do you really think I look good? I mean, I'm not like you or Arthur. Or Percival. Or Leon and Elyan for that matter. I'm not as… masculine."

Gwaine's laughter at that moment could be heard from any point in Camelot. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Tears were streaming out of his eyes. "Oh you always do make me laugh Lance." Gwaine flicked his hair and stroked his stubble before bellowing out another deep, throaty cackle. "I'm sorry. I know you're serious, love. But, okay. If you came up to me in a land where I knew nobody, and we'd never spoken before, even sober, I would grab you and pin you up against whatever I could." Lancelot was stunned. "I'd probably carry on even if you weren't willing. And you know what, I might even do it now, you're that hot, and what've I got to lose."

"Please don't." Lancelot managed to get out, through his shock.

"Saving yourself for someone special, hey?"

"Shut up."

"No."

"I'll promise you, next time I see him, I'll tell him. If you'll just _shut up_."

"Okay. I promise. Promise, promise, promise. Oh, you're in for a treat. What I wouldn't give to see that."

"Gwaine…"

"Sorry, sorry." But he carried on chuckling.


End file.
